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Ah, fall. How sweet it is.

The time of year for so many of our favorite things - the county fair, cooler weather, crisp mountain apples, children dressing up in their favorite costumes and bargaining for treats, the trees putting on a show of red, yellow and orange.

And the yearly Children's Primary Presentation at church.

I had an epiphany the other day after realizing that I, as Primary Chorister, will once again be in possession of that most coveted of spots - "Rear View Real Estate". I was so thrilled last year, to have my back side, AKA hind parts, turned to the whole congregation for nigh on an hour, that I decided this year, it could be turned to my advantage. Nay, to the advantage of all concerned.

Therefore, dear reader(s), I am prepared to offer you the chance to purchase, yes, purchase, a spot on this year's "Primary Chorister's Advertising Sandwich Board". Yes, yes, this year, I will be sporting a new, state of the art, advertising sandwich board. Not only will it soften the visual blow for the congregation, it will bring in a little extra revenue for yours truly, AND will bring your business to the attention of oh, so many parents and grandparents. Because remember, this is the one Sunday guaranteed to have the back sliding/folding doors opened to make room for everyone.

At first, I thought it only necessary to wear the back board, as the front of me will be facing the children. And they, of course, have no reliable income to speak of. However, it was brought to my attention today that these same little people may not have buying power per se, but they have IMMENSE purchasing influence over those same parents and grandparents who will be behind me. And Christmas is a comin' and the turkey's getting fat, and all that.

So, it's entirely possible I could have "Lightnin' McQueen" on the front and, I don't know, some "Random Insurance Agency" on the back.

Think of the possibilities - 10 songs, 10 opportunities to rival the Pepsi Spot during the Super Bowl.

It's a win, win, win situation all the way around.

A) No one has to see my rear view;
B) Extra income coming my way;
C) More customers for your business/blog.

The only other thing I would need to worry about would be the possibility of knocking someone out with the upper arm flab while directing our stirring rendition of "How Firm a Foundation."

Well, that and the pesky little possibility of my name being removed from the church records.

I'm such a genius.

I amaze even myself sometimes.

To reserve your spot, please call Junior Samples at BR549.

(You don't think they'll send me to RS after this, do you?)