Q-Tips

So, I noticed this claim on the Q-tip box this morning:

"The ultimate beauty tool".

Never noticed that before, so it gets me to thinking...........................

Let's check with Mr. Webster, shall we.

Ultimate: 1) Beyond which it is impossible to go, 2) Final, conclusive, 3) basic, 4) greatest possible.

Beauty: 1) the quality of being very pleasing, as in form, color, etc., 2) a thing with this quality, 3) good looks, 4) a very attractive person, feature, etc.

Tool: 1) any hand implement, instrument, etc., used for some work, 2) any similar instrument that is the working part of a machine, as a drill, 3) anything that serves as a means, 4) a stooge.

Eureka!!

All I have to do is clean my ears and I've put Angelina Jolie out of a job!!!

Clean left ear - check mirror - no change.

Clean right ear - check mirror - still no change.

New Q-Tip

Reclean left ear - check mirror, - hmmm

Reclean right ear - check mirror, hmmm

Something seems to be amiss, here. Brad Pitt hasn't called yet. Q-Tips don't seem to be working for some reason.

Clean left ear, clean right ear.

Check back with Mr. Webster:

4) Stooge

1) an actor who serves as the victim of a comedian's jokes, pranks, etc., 2) anyone who acts as a foil or underling

I get it now. Steve Martin is now head of the Q-Tip company.

Off to work I go. Anybody need to buy a pump or an air compressor?